This is torturous electricity between both of us & this is dangerous cos I...
thoughts during math class
me: who had the time to sit here and figure this out. neeeeeeeeeeeerd.
me: could you repeat that in english?
me: my teacher has the biggest butt.
me: i like big butts and i cannot lie, them otha brothas can't deny
me: when a girl walks in witta itty bitty waist & a round thang in yo face--
me: don't look at me.
me: don't make eye contact and she won't ask you.
me: this kid has to be on brain steroids
me: how the fuck.
me: she's white. why is her butt that big?
me: " tom has to raise a profit at his concert. what is his ticket price? " hey tom, guess what? you were adopted. still wanna have a concert?
me: dat ass
me: why is it so cold.my nipples are so hard they could cut glass
me: i have to fart... calculate the velocity of that, bitch.
me: fuck i really hope he didn't hear me fart
me: yup he did.
me: if you like pina coladaaaasss and getting caught in the raaaiiin
me: lol no. i'm gonna be a stripper.
romneybecamepresident: I hope my new URL is spooky enough for Halloween
When my brother's in the shower...
-waiting for brother to get out of the shower-
-hears him singing-
me: will you quit singing?
me: QUIT SINGING. IT'S LAME
brother: WHEN I'M IN THE SHOWER, TWO THINGS GET TO BE FREE
brother: MY BALLS
brother: AND MY SOUL
...Just me? No? Yeah.
That moment where you’re watching something on YouTube & your mom’s just chillin’ in the next room, and all of the sudden the person in your video decides to repetitively grunt like they’re being buttfucked by a grizzly bear, so you laugh as loud as you possibly can so your mom can be sure that you’re watching something humerus, and are not enjoying animal porn.
zombieinmybutt: wizcoylifa: what if humans lost all their skin every winter and walked around as skeletons and the trees get pissed when they have to rake all our skin off their lawns how high are you
Sometimes I think, being a teenager, I don’t do nearly enough stupid shit. I’ll see these movies about all these people my age high-jacking their parents cars and ending up in these crazy places doing crazy things. & I’m just like, “Umm, I like the Internet…”
ok: my favorite part about grocery shopping is... →
eyelashes-chan: all these creatively named generic brands ~*cocoa peanut butter spheres~* getting really fancy here did they kawaiily pull out a thesaurus or something they already used the word “crispy” for “crispy rice” so they’re taking away the “y”
WHEN I TAKE A SIP OF MY FAVORITE DRINK
sweetbarefootedthumper: i was told i have to interact with actual people today